oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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