what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
