This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
