Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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