Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
