then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
