I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My cat gives me a boner
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize