I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
