Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
