Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
