turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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