i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
