didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
