OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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