the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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