At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
