So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize