so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You can't just leave with hair like that
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
