Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
