So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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