He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize