True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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