There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
