apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
