I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
