i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
