so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
