Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
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At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
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Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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