Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
