my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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