Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize