when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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