You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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