There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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