I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
