Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
