better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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