No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize