I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
