but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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