Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
