Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
