We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
