Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
