my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
