belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
