True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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