we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's never too late to be topless.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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