You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
