bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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