can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize