hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
