Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I cockslap morals
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
