How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
