what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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