this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
