All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
soo... how was my night?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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