I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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